“You’re not doing it wrong. It’s just that hard.”
During these newborn days of endless trial and error, it’s easy to feel alone (especially if, like us, you’re away from family and friends). It can be hard to remember that the mountain of self-doubt you find yourself climbing every day is a very normal part of early parenthood.
In these first weeks and months, there’s so much second-guessing, clueless googling, scrolling for fixes and looking to tiny glowing screens for big answers. But, of course, there aren’t always any “right” answers, and what has helped me are reads like these – I’ve nodded in agreement, laughed in recognition, and welled up when I’m reminded of how short this time is in the grand scheme of things.
One of the best things I’m reading is What Mothers Do: Especially When it Looks Like Nothing. A warm, reassuring read, it was described by The Guardian’s Anne Karpf as “gentle but revolutionary” and “the best parenting book you’ve never heard of”.
Top: The above quote from this Motherly piece is a soothing mantra during particularly challenging times.
“When the baby falls asleep by himself in his rocker I’m thrilled by the little bit of independence it wins me. But a few hours later I cry thinking about how one day soon he’ll never again fall asleep on my chest.” This did indeed bring all the feels.
A beautiful new way to look at that to do list.
“There is no definitive answer for anything. Every single one of our journeys and experiences is unique, every baby or child is different, so what worked for one won’t necessarily work for another.” Some good stuff here.
This piece made me laugh.
It can also help to remember that even if you had tons of help and tons of money – it’s still hard being a new mum, as this tweet from Cardi B proves.
I’ll wrap things up with this glorious quote by Mary Jean Irion:
“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”
Would love to hear about any reads you found comforting! Comment here on or on Insta.
Top pic of Ari and I by Ben.